To achieve a goal you need to master the steps that take you to the finish line. More importantly, you need to know why reaching this goal is so important […]
After reading clients’ autobiographies over the past four decades, I’ve concluded life is a story that needs to be rewritten in midlife to reflect the desires of the authentic self. […]
Change is often initiated by feelings of restlessness, irritability and boredom. What used to satisfy you no longer interests you. Some of the people you enjoyed being around are so […]
Your ideal job is the activity that allows you to be your natural self, the person you are when you are free from conditioned behavior. By conditioned, I mean the […]
Few of us were taught what the feelings are for, much less how to process and express them. Most of us learned from an early age to intellectualize, dismiss, ignore […]
If repetition is the mother of all learning, as theologian Thomas Aquinas famously said, then preparation is the father of success. Slow, steady application of what we learn ensures a […]
Growth that lasts is, of necessity, a long, slow process. The human mind is designed to incorporate learning in small doses, absorbing and consolidating new information before taking in more. […]
For most people the word change conjures up images of difficulty and stress, not improvement and growth. This is because we humans are hard wired to resist change: familiarity equates […]
When your work feels like an exercise in futility you may try to make up for your dissatisfaction on the weekend with volunteering, hobbies, travel, love affairs, drink, food or […]
To rescue means to save people from injury or harm, to liberate or release them from fear or other restriction, as when you remove a burden from their shoulders, or […]
It is normal to want people to like you. Approval from friends, family members and others makes you feel secure. The downside of wanting others’ approval can be shape shifting: […]
Finding your niche in work depends on how well you know yourself. Well, I know myself, you say, let’s get on to the next steps: writing a killer resume, meeting […]
Every day in a new year is an opportunity to maintain the balance between meeting the needs of others and meeting your own needs. When your needs are met, you […]
Often the way to reach a treasured goal is to do what is difficult for you. It’s not enough to say or write what you want and expect that it […]
Competent is a word that describes people who know what they are doing. When everyone raves about your apple pie compared to other apple pies they’ve eaten, you become known as an authority on the subject of apple pies. But what about the baker who thinks her apple pie is just as good as yours, maybe even better, in spite of evidence to the contrary? This is a sign of incompetence, according to a study done by researchers at Cornell University.
Mental clarity is the ability to make distinctions between the false and the true, what appears to be real and what is illusory. Mental confusion, on the other hand, is often based on dishonesty: either you are not telling yourself the truth, or someone is not telling you the truth. And if you are not aware of or you deny your feelings, you are even more likely to be easily fooled. As an example, your longing for approval causes you to overlook the flaws in a person from whom you seek validation.
A life script is based on illogical decisions made around the age of puberty about how life will turn out for you. At the time, you were too young, isolated, or overwhelmed to know you had options. From then on, life may have run its course to failure in love and work, until you decided to change your script. Three Life Scripts
Good boundaries are like locked doors that protect you from intruders. When and why you open your doors is up to you, so you feel safe and happy. If you have poor boundaries, people can barge into your space at any time, causing you to feel anxious and angry.