A realistic goal is based on knowing what you feel as well as what you think. Oh, you say, I know myself, let’s get on the next step. Surprisingly, feelings are often at odds with thoughts, since feelings take longer to make themselves known. For example, did you ever realize you were angry about something months after the event occurred? Did you ask yourself what you feared would happen if you let yourself know the truth? If so, you discovered your conscious mind overrode subconscious awareness, reflected by the inability to act on the anger you felt.
Over the last 40 years I have been helping men, and the people who love them, to live well. I’ve learned that we never heal alone. There are always helpers and guides along the way that give us the love, support, and the wisdom we need to find our true selves and manifest our dreams.
The average British woman will kiss fifteen men, enjoy two long-term relationships, and have her heartbroken twice before she meets ‘The One’, a new study reveals British researchers found she will also average four disaster dates and be stood up once before she finally settles down with the man of her dreams, but she will also have been in love twice, lived with one partner, and had four one-night stands. In comparison, men face being stood up twice and having six one-night stands before they meet their ideal partners.
The business of aging is growing up. What is today a $2 billion aging in place technology and longevity industry is projected to reach $20 billion by 2020. Entrepreneurs, many just in their 20s and 30s, are scrambling to develop products and services that allow older adults to be independent and safe — and give their adult children peace of mind.
Allegedly, it is life at its best when we are succeeding and life at its worst when we are failing. How do we define success and failure? How do we come to have such a strong attachment to success and a deep aversion to failure? How does our relationship to success and failure define our relationship to life? What is Failure?
From the vantage point of the second week of January 2014, I’m reflecting on how very much I enjoyed the Christmas of 2013 once I let go of my self-appointed role as the family videographer. The year my first grandchild was born, 2008, I bought a Flip camera and a lightweight tripod and spent my entire holiday visit capturing every possible moment for posterity. When I wasn’t staring at the little screen and exhorting everyone to smile or say something worth recording, I was busy downloading the scenes to my laptop.
Do you sigh throughout the day? Perhaps you don’t recognize that you’re sighing. It’s a deep breath in as your entire upper body rises, and then you release with an long audible exhale and your body sinks as do your hopes.
I turned 43 on New Year’s Eve, not that you really care, but it does convey a certain perspective to be ending your year in two different ways. So, as a general rule there are two things for sure with me: 1st- I always work in the ER on my birthday (it’s far more interesting than any party I have ever attended and I get paid to show up!) 2nd- I never make New Year’s resolutions.
Most of the insecurity and low self-esteem in the world is caused by rejection by a parent, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband or wife, or the loss of a parent or some other significant other early in life. Early shame, rejection or abandonment may become internalized at an early age, making us feel worthless and unworthy of love. The greatest loss and the most difficult to work through is the death of a parent.
As the Holidays wind down and we slide into 2014 and a whole brand new year, I contemplate all the things I have wanted for Christmas over the past years. And now my Santa Wish List takes on a different tone from “gimme” to “leave me alone”. Christmases of yore: 5 years old: a bicycle with training wheels, paints 10 years old: Life-size Patty Play Pal (Cut off all her hair within a week), books, candy
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want a joyful, intimate, sexy, relationship that lasts forever. But we sure seem to have a difficult time making relationships work. According to relationship expert John Gottman, the divorce rate is between 43 percent and 67 percent depending on the study. That’s not very encouraging.
Depression runs in my family. I became aware of that fact when my father took an overdose of sleeping pills when I was five years old. Growing up I had little understanding of what had happened or why he was hospitalized and disappeared from our lives. But I did grow up with a hunger to understand depression and a terror that I would become depressed myself and face my own suicidal demons.
A life script is based on illogical decisions made around the age of puberty about how life will turn out for you. At the time, you were too young, isolated, or overwhelmed to know you had options. From then on, life may have run its course to failure in love and work, until you decided to change your script. Three Life Scripts
The time between Thanksgiving and New Years can be wonderfully joyful and it can also be stressful and irritating. Everyone can feel a bit overwhelmed with things to do, celebrations to attend, and family to please. Getting irritable occasionally is part of being human, but getting locked into a pattern of negativity and anger can cause problems for men and the families that love them. What Is Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS)?
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way.” Charles Dickens could have been talking about mid-life when he wrote A Tale of Two Cities.
“Men and women think differently, approach problems differently, emphasize the importance of things differently, and experience the world around us through entirely different lenses,” says Marianne J. Legato, M.D., Founder of the Foundation for Gender Specific Medicine and author of numerous books on men and women including, Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget.
Good boundaries are like locked doors that protect you from intruders. When and why you open your doors is up to you, so you feel safe and happy. If you have poor boundaries, people can barge into your space at any time, causing you to feel anxious and angry.
According to the American Academy of Pain Medicine, pain affects more Americans than diabetes, heart disease, and cancer combined. The list below shows the number of chronic pain sufferers compared to other major health conditions. Chronic Pain 100 million Americans