Dating After 50: Why You Should Go Offline
Navigating the online dating world can be intimidating – and for newly single women over 50, it presents its own set of challenges. Sites like eHarmony and Match are brimming with photos of 20-somethings and old profile pictures taken 15 years ago. Because men tend to gravitate towards younger women on the Internet, it’s both daunting and difficult for a mature woman to get back in the game.
The good news is, modern day dating spans far beyond your computer screen. In fact, according to Kim Samuels (http://www.singlenotdead.com/), senior dating expert and author of He’s Just NOT, unplugging might be the best way to get back out there.
Here, Samuels shares her expert advice (and personal experience) for expanding your horizons and dating again with confidence.
Get up and get out
Online dating is appealing and “easy” because you can hide behind your laptop. However, we come across better in person, so it’s important to leave the house and meet people face-to-face. Embrace your single status and use it as a springboard to discover yourself; join the YMCA, signup for a class at the community college, or take your grandkids to museums. These are all fun and enriching activities that will get you out and away from the computer desk.
But if you are going to use the Internet, Samuels suggests logging onto Meetup or Eventful – sources that keep you in-the-know about upcoming (and mostly free) events in your area. Says Samuels, “Meeting people who share your interests in a group setting is much less stressful than one-on-one setups.” If you’re having good time, meeting someone new whom you’re compatible with will happen naturally.
Cast a wider net
Age is just a number – and that applies to both you and men of interest. Don’t pigeonhole yourself and only date within your age group. You can absolutely seek out an older partner or a younger guy in his 40s. Being open-minded allows you to meet that many more interesting people.
Start more conversations
Get your self-confidence back and practice striking up convos with more people, even when you’re at Starbucks or the bus stop. Talk about your kids or crack a joke about a tabloid headline – that way, when a certain person does catch your eye, you’ll have the nerve to speak up. “Don’t think that you always have to be coming on to someone,” says Samuels, who’s been asked out by suitors she’s chatted up at the phone store and supermarket. “Instead, say hello to as many people as you can and make it a game to just have fun.”
Take a solo trip
Pack your bags and treat yourself to a vacation – it’s just the ticket for celebrating this new stage in your life. Samuels, who has flown solo to Mexico and Jamaica, suggests choosing an all-inclusive resort – on-premise restaurants and nightly shows make it a safe and convenient option. Plus, you never know who you’ll meet at the swim-up bar.
Be confident and don’t give up
Instead of concentrating on forever right away, think of 50 as an exciting new beginning. “We’re so much better equipped at our age for a fresh start than we were in our twenties,” says Samuels. “Having lived in seven decades and two millenniums, we can be confident that we have lots to offer and talk about!”
Brooke Sager is a NYC-based writer who specializes in lifestyle, health, and beauty. To read more of Brooke’s work, visit: www.brookelsager.com.