Relationships & Love

How to Heal a Broken Heart

The scars of a broken heart can leave us severely wounded. Who hasn’t experienced or witnessed this happen to a relative or close friend? But a recent study by the University of Arizona and Northwestern University shows there is an effective path to recovery.

Researchers demonstrated that the trial group that spent time assessing their romantic misfortunes recuperated far more quickly than the group that didn’t reflect on their breakups. This confirms our own theory that people need to unpack what caused a relationship to fail if they wish to move forward on the path to romantic recovery. To put it bluntly: Don’t look for new love until you’ve looked hard at yourself. Otherwise, you’re likely to repeat the same painful patterns.

We firmly believe it’s possible to find love again after experiencing a major heartbreak. But, be forewarned: “possible” doesn’t mean “easy.” The first obstacle to surmount is fear. This is the most critical roadblock to moving forward and finding love again. Fear is often so dominant that it can crush any new budding relationship before it takes bloom.

Anyone oppressed by the weight of fear — whether it’s fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of rejection, and so on — needs to first acknowledge that fear is just a state of mind. Think of it as an acronym for “false evidence appearing real.” It’s important to acknowledge and accept this fact. Otherwise, fear morphs into a delusion that can keep you from starting any promising new relationship.

Follow these three tips to take charge of common fears that preclude you from loving and being loved again.

Focus on your “worthiness”

We are all familiar with the fear of rejection. Many specialists link that fear to childhood. If you once experienced rejection as a child, you’re very likely to avoid it at all costs in your adult relationships. It’s one of our deepest human fears. But if you’ve lived through rejection in a love affair, your scar tissue certainly runs deep.

Instead of falling victim to the fear of rejection by giving up on finding a lifelong mate, take stock of your self-worth. Build a foundation of self-respect based on what makes you your unique self–your life experiences, your successes and disappointments, your personality and your passions. Who you are as an individual makes up your self-worth, and self-worth increases “love-worth.”

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