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Dating

Make Your Dating Life Healthy Again!

You’ve made the big decision to start dating again. You’ve heard about all the health benefits of good relationships: reducing the risk of stress, depression, even heart disease. But basically, you’d just like a guy in your life again. All your friends are telling you the only way to go is to get on Match or another dating site. While this seems like a crazy idea, after a couple of awkward encounters engineered by well-eaning friends, you’re coming to realize that the best method for meeting someone is going to be on-line.

Once you’ve made the commitment to put up a profile and cast your net, your next decision will be how to portray and describe yourself to attract the best candidates. While your natural inclination is to be modest about yourself, in the competitive world of on-line dating, modest just doesn’t cut it.

Let’s start with your image. We’re talking photograph here. It’s true a picture is worth a thousand words. What’s the first thing you want a prospective date to know about you? Are you active and sporty? Seeking a partner who shares your love of the outdoors? Post a picture of you doing what you love. That could be a terrific picture of you sailing, skiing, playing tennis or on a mountain top. Just make sure the picture shows your face! Not the sporty type? No worries. Go for a photo that reveals your most natural but polished self. Your outfit should be business casual. No bathing suit shots.

Can’t decide between pictures? Go for the one where you’re smiling. Smiling is a great place to start!

Now, a word about cosmetics. We’re talking make up. You may be a person who never wears any, but that’s not good for a photograph. While you don’t necessarily want an obvious glamour shot, be aware that while men claim they prefer a woman sans make up, the truth is, without at least a little cosmetic fine tuning, most of us look tired and washed out. You don’t have to pile it on like a firebrand or a hussy, but a smidgen of lipstick, blush, and mascara go a long way to helpyou put your best face forward. And you’ll definitely want to wear that on any first date.
Makeup correctly applied boosts confidence.

Moving away from photos, the words you use to describe yourself can be prophetic. Always shoot for characterizing yourself in words that are dynamic. Are you cheerful, outgoing, a lover of books and films? Wouldn’t you like a partner who is much the same? Don’t be reluctant to cite your likes and dislikes.

As for very personal preferences and peccadillos, definitely mention if you are a confirmed cigarette smoker, hard core about your political affiliations, or if dating a fellow Christian, Jew, or Muslim is high on your “must” list. The most important thing to remember when composing a profile about yourself is to remember this isn’t a job interview. While you may be very proud of your career track record or how many degrees you have, those resume-type facts about yourself are less important when attempting to forge new romantic relationships.

The trick to creating the perfect dating site profile is to reveal a few basic truths about yourself with an eye to sparking interest. Men do respond most immediately to an attractive picture. But you’re more likely to discover a compatible partner if you’re honest about who you are and what you’re looking for. There’s plenty of fish in the sea; how you bait your line determines what your catch will be.

Eve Marx is the author of many books about sex and dating including “Read My Hips,” and “101 Things You Didn’t Know About Sex.” She has been married 28 years, has a grown son, and is a certified Reiki Master.