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Relationships & Love

Ten Ways to Know If He’s Your Soul Mate

By Carmen Harra, PhD

Throughout my career, I have seen everything from couples who married their childhood loves to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experience several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you’re currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there’s no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me? Answering these questions honestly can be hard without a bit of guidance. There are ten signs that indicate a soul mate bond (or a lack of) between you and your partner.

1. You just….know. Describing how a soul mate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound, and blissfully lingering emotion that no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soul mate, chances are he or she has been present in at least one of your past lives. Soul mates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soul mate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just “get” each other. Ever met two partners who finish each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but it’s the signal of a soul mate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soul mate when you experience it with your romantic partner.

4. You fall in love with his or her flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soul mate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soul mates have an easier time of tolerating, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soul mate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It’s intense. A soul mate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the difficult moment.

6. It feels like “you and me against the world.” Soul mates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” This doesn’t mean they isolate themselves from others, but that they feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they are at each other’s side.

7. You are mentally inseparable. Soul mates often have a mental connection similar to the kind twins have with each other. One might pick up the phone to call the other at the exact same time. They often can intuit when something is wrong with the other, even when they are miles apart. Though you may be at a distance, your minds will always be in tune if you are soul mates.

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you’re a heterosexual man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soul mate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is most certainly not your soul mate.

9. You can’t imagine your life without him (or her). A soul mate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you firmly believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

10. You look each other in the eye. Soul mates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples do; they almost “read” each other this way. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence in them.”

Carmen Harra, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, intuitive counselor, and author of seven books, including The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships and the bestselling Everyday Karma. Her daughter Alexandra Harra is a certified life coach, and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and to RelationshipHeadquarters.com. Dr. Harra speaks from experience when she says that there are practical ways to meet the challenges of resolving karma that cause our relationships to become complicated and painful. In their new book, The Karma Queens reveal the secret to transforming the karma in all of your relationships-with lovers, spouses, family and friends. And it illuminates what you can do to change your karma so you can attract or keep your soul mate. For more information, go to www.CarmenHarra.com and www.Penguin.com

Reprinted from THE KARMA QUEENS’ GUIDE TO RELATIONSHIPS by Carmen Harra, PhD, and Alexandra Harra, by arrangement with Tarcher, a member of the Penguin Publishing Group, a Penguin Random House Company, Copyright © 2015.