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Relationships & Love

Ten Ways to Know If He’s Your Soul Mate

By Carmen Harra, PhD

Throughout my career, I have seen everything from couples who married their childhood loves to people in their retirement years who still struggle with commitment issues. Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes, meaning that we experience several relationships before finding the person we believe to be our perfect pairing. Whether you’re currently married, in a relationship, or contemplating entering a relationship with a new love interest, it is crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. After all, there’s no avoiding the inevitable, often uncomfortable question we must ask ourselves: Is this the person I was bound by destiny to share my life with? Or did I settle too quickly into a relationship with someone who can never complete me? Answering these questions honestly can be hard without a bit of guidance. There are ten signs that indicate a soul mate bond (or a lack of) between you and your partner.

1. You just….know. Describing how a soul mate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound, and blissfully lingering emotion that no words can encompass.

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soul mate, chances are he or she has been present in at least one of your past lives. Soul mates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soul mate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

3. You just “get” each other. Ever met two partners who finish each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but it’s the signal of a soul mate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soul mate when you experience it with your romantic partner.

4. You fall in love with his or her flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soul mate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soul mates have an easier time of tolerating, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soul mate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

5. It’s intense. A soul mate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the difficult moment.

6. It feels like “you and me against the world.” Soul mates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” This doesn’t mean they isolate themselves from others, but that they feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they are at each other’s side.


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