Faking Humor

By Darcy Thiel

I have to admit that depression, a worldwide pandemic, a local shutdown, a breakup, parenting, financial stress, broken phones, computers, and kitchen ceilings, and being there for really intense pain (for example, a family that lost TWO children in the last TWO months, etc., etc., etc.), I have found myself worn out. My latest cry in the morning is, ΓÇ£I donΓÇÖt know how to do this another day.ΓÇ¥ I really donΓÇÖt. Ask my therapist. I had two sessions with him this week.

One of my jobs is dealing with some higher-ups in a hospital down south. My contact there told me I could use this. ΓÇ£Elasticity limit.ΓÇ¥ Perfect, perfect description. Like so many others, this rubber band has stretched further than I ever believed possible. But even a rubber band eventually breaks. And it hurts like a **** when it snaps.

So IΓÇÖm just going to tell dumb jokes.

I went to the dentist and he told me that I needed a crown. I said, ΓÇ£I know, right???ΓÇ¥

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? (Make sure you say this answer out loud or you wonΓÇÖt get it.) ΓÇ£Elifino!ΓÇ¥

Did you get that email I sent you with ΓÇ£canned meatΓÇ¥ in the subject line? You didnΓÇÖt? Thank God. DonΓÇÖt open it. ItΓÇÖs Spam.

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!

I changed that last one to this: What did the left cheek say to the right cheek? Between you and me, something smells! I figured that was a double entendre which I should get extra credit for.

ThatΓÇÖs all I got.