5 Keys to Overcoming Perfectionism

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Perfectionism can be the secret to your success, or the saboteur of your sanity. It can be a healthy motivator to achieve more, produce higher quality work and approach every project with meticulous planning. But on the flip side, when it becomes an obsession, it can wreak havoc on your personal and professional life, causing stress, exhaustion and disappointment.  Being a fanatic about tiny details can irritate friends and co-workers who pull back from having any interaction with you. Perfectionism in your personal life can cause low self-esteem, self-doubt and unnecessary worry in the unrealistic expectations that you set for yourself.

Recently, I was speaking to a group of 50 women, and the majority of them admitted they are perfectionists. It is a universal plague among female professionals who think they have to be “manager of the universe.” These women have busy careers, take care of home and family, and volunteer in their communities, all while trying to be perfectly pulled together.  Perfectionism keeps them from living life to the fullest as they fight unrealistic expectations that are self-imposed.

If you suffer from perfectionism at work , here are a few strategies to help you conquer the monster before it slays you.

Perfect is the enemy of great. If you wait around until you have something in perfect shape, you might miss an important deadline while you are wasting a lot of time. That can snowball into distrust between you and your coworkers, and ultimately may lead to poor performance reviews.  The greatest report you’ve ever written is of little use if it is two days late. Creating a perfectly polished presentation that is filled with research data can actually come across as being boring or uncreative—too much like a news report and not enough “you”. In your “superwoman” role, trying to do everything perfectly will almost ensure that you get few things done really well.  Your reputation at work depends on how well you perform, not on how few mistakes you make. So quit polishing and let your brilliance shine!

Embrace do-overs. If you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up! Use a temporary obstacle to strategize going forward. Self-correct, find a better way, and keep moving forward. Don’t dwell on the missteps, and don’t take on the identity of your setback.  Those who never push themselves to do better never fail. These wise words are so true:“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” ― Robert F. Kennedy

Relax! There is nothing gained from beating yourself up, so don’t run yourself ragged for perfection’s sake. Work at a steady pace, remember to breathe, and accept that you are human just like everyone else (see below). When stressing over something small, ask yourself “will this really matter a year from now?”

Don’t compare yourself to others. You were born with a unique set of gifts and skills that make you you. There is no one like you!  Likewise, you are not like anyone else, so quit wishing you could be like them! That only leads to feeling inferior and small. There will always be a lot of people ahead of you in any area of life, but there will also be a lot of people behind you. Be proud of who you are, how far you have come and what you have to contribute to your team.  Appreciate yourself and focus on what you have accomplished rather than what everyone else is doing.  You have a unique contribution to the team, so do it proudly.

Set your expectations at human standards. You are human, and you are expected to perform at human levels, not super-human. Setting the bar at unrealistic heights will certainly set you up for failure, so set your sights on goals that motivate you, not frustrate you. Don’t try to be Wonder Woman—she does not exist!

Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.

Susan Tolles is a Certified Christian Life Purpose Coach. To learn more about her work, click here. To schedule a complementary session with her, click here.