Your Relationship With Money: Time to Take Control

When my editor suggested I try to better define the relationship between women after 50 and money, my thoughts were all over the place because money holds so much power over our lives.

I thought of women who have money and opportunities. I thought of women struggling to make ends meet. I thought of women in unhappy marriages who “would leave if they had money.” I thought of unhappy women who shop and spend in their search for emotional happiness. I thought of widows and divorcees, now single and vulnerable. I thought about families that fall apart because of greed.

Women Worry About Money

We know a woman’s lack of financial security causes a variety of unsettling emotions: anxiety, fear, panic — even anger. Financial insecurity can be brought on in many ways: using retirement funds to help adult children, allowing a spouse or significant other to make the financial decisions, fearing to ask a husband or significant other about his will, being unaware of how to invest money, spending too much. Thankfully, there are always ways of recovering and finding inner peace.

Still, there is the woman who is financially secure and yet unhappy. She may lack a clear sense of priorities. I believe if she shifts her priorities and finds purpose, she will also find personal contentment.

And then there is the very fortunate woman who has it all together. She is mature. She has security that leads to opportunity and realizes that money will only take her so far, so she makes certain her life is filled with purpose. Wisely, in the back of her mind, she worries about keeping her money.

I think about my own financial odyssey — from a young married woman to now. I have had financial lows and woes. I survived because I am a survivor. I have written my life story in a newly released journal, Stories for my Grandchild. It is a journal filled with questions that will help other grandmothers record the story of their lives. It will be a keepsake gift to their grands. I did not sugarcoat my story. I mention my financial problems and let my grands know how I solved them.

Virtually All Financial and Life Problems Can Be Solved

If you are in financial straits, take responsibility for the mess you find yourself in. Whether it is the result of divorce, bad investments, medical bills, widowhood, a husband’s will, spending unnecessarily on adult children, poor retirement and tax planning, or just plain bad luck, you should make a commitment to put on your rose-colored glasses and make a positive plan.

If you are fortunate to be living on the sunny side of the street, financially, yet you are feeling down, money is not your ticket to happiness. Put on your rose-colored glasses and make a plan. Find a purpose and then start doing what you enjoy. And master it.

Finding a Positive Relationship with Money

Life is much easier for us than it was for our mothers and grandmothers. 60 is the new 40. 70 is the new 50. You can turn your life around. Step up to the plate and commit to changing what needs to be changed. When you are emotionally geared up to take on this commitment, you will be on your way to improving your relationship with money.

You Can Live Rich By Living a Quality Lifestyle

There are alternative retirement lifestyles, darlings, that will allow you to live on an amazingly small income. Seek these communities out. Take a course on finances and retirement. Start spending your money wisely. Take up a new career. You have time. Incorporate a new hobby into your life. You can “live rich” by living a quality lifestyle.

For you, darlings, who are blessed with financial security and still find yourselves restless, lonely and feeling invisible, you can “live rich” when you find a fulfilling new purpose. It is well-known that “money does not bring emotional happiness.” You have to “feel” your self-worth.

My Cost-Free Lifestyle and My Relationship with Money

My husband and I are on top of our finances. This is how I define my relationship with money. I have a marvelous, fulfilling and joyful lifestyle, and it costs me nothing.

  1. I am in love.
  2. I have a purpose.
  3. I walk alongside nature and my pooch, American.
  4. I stay connected to members of the family.
  5. I call my mother daily.
  6. I have friends who make me happy.
  7. I am curious.
  8. I listen to my heart.
  9. I enjoy small pleasures.
  10. I see the glass half full.
  11. I am grateful for everything.

Have a purpose

We cannot live in a happy state without emotional and financial guidelines. The two work hand in hand. Please, carefully examine your relationship with money and, if need be, start making your positive plan.

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”

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