mature couple intimacy
Relationships & Love

Five Tips to Regain Intimacy

Has your intimate connection to your spouse or partner weakened after many years together? Here are my tips for regaining intimacy:

  1. Learn to feel and express emotions – When we cut ourselves off from our day to day feelings both good and bad- we also cut the line to our libido.   By paying attention and checking in on our feeling state we become more aware of ourselves erotically as well.   As we soften we are more able to let other people near us and conversely become more available to listening and being with them more deeply.
  1.   Grow your sexual courage – Grow your sexual courage by breaking down the barriers to knowing and sharing about your own desire.   Most couples struggle with differing desires at some point in their relationship … It often turns into a battle over who initiates, who says no and becomes a mine field of painful interactions.   By getting in touch with the highs and lows in your own sexual history you are able to not only take responsibility but also have a new curiosity about how to get back to a better place where you can want sexual intimacy.
  1.   Increase your sensory awareness-  by becoming more aware of the wide array of information our sense give us – we become neurologically primed for more and better intimacy.   Instead of rushing through our intimate times,  we get to practice savoring physical experience of all kinds which slowly translates into deeper intimacy with ones partner.
  1.   Getting over normal – the first thing anyone asks a therapist about their sex life is whether they are normal.   In our exercise of self measuring ones level of relationality (i.e. how much do you move towards relationship) and inhibition – we can get a clear picture of where you and your partner sits on the sexual identity grid.   Working towards moving to center is usually the answer.  And there is tremendous freedom in becoming more internally free to experience and relate to our own sexuality.
  1.   Experiment with fantasy-  We all have a fantasy life that grows up in us in our early adolescence.  Tapping into these stories is the rocket fuel for your sexual interactions.  Becoming comfortable and curious about our fantasy life not only adds passion to the experience itself but also holds a wealth of knowledge about the deepest healing that sex can bring to us.

Wendy Strgar is an award-winning entrepreneur and the founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, a pioneer in the organic personal care product industry.

She is a popular blogger and author of two books: Sex That Works: An Intimate Guide to Awakening Your Erotic Life will be published by Sounds True in June 2017 and is the companion to her first popular book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy.

Wendy started Good Clean Love in 2003 after hearing from many women about, and experiencing for herself, the painful side effects of using petrochemical-based hygiene products. Today, Good Clean Love’s products are sold internationally and endorsed by physicians nationwide for their safe and pure ingredients. A recent NIH-funded study found Good Clean Love’s line of personal lubricant to be one of the safest products of its class.


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