Stop Being A Superwoman!

By Sherrie Campbell, PhD

Are you one of them?

You know – the ones who have 100 things to do and get them all done. We work hard and are totally ┬ádedicated to fulfilling our marriage, parenting, career and friendship goals.

WeΓÇÖre superwomen. But thereΓÇÖs a problem.

On the upside it feels amazing to be successful and needed on all fronts. We have a great sense of identity, satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side many of us feel overworked, misunderstood and stressed.

Recognition is great, but the need for it can become a drug.

• Superwomen tend to strive for perfection in how they look, speak and work. They can be people-pleasers, too, always worrying about the other personΓÇÖs happiness more than their own. The solution: learn to love yourself and to realize that you are valued as much for who you are as for what you do.
• Recognition is great, but the need for it can become a drug. The more you get, the more you want. Practice thinking well of yourself without seeking othersΓÇÖ approval. Be proud of who you are.
• Ask for help! Not many superwomen do this. They might not want to ask because of the fear that others can do it better than they can. Unfortunately, carrying a burden thatΓÇÖs way too heavy can lead to exhaustion and resentment. Start by asking for help in small matters, and work your way up to more major efforts.
• DonΓÇÖt hesitate to say no. Superwomen often fear that they wonΓÇÖt be wanted or liked if they refuse a request. Learn to think of saying no as a way to share with the other person what you want or donΓÇÖt want for yourself.
• Learn to express your vulnerability. Reveal your sadness, anger, fear and confusion. That doesnΓÇÖt represent, as many worry, a loss of control. ItΓÇÖs a way to let people know you better and to understand and meet your needs.
• Take as well as give. Remember how good it feels to give, and let others have that same experience with you.

Superwomen love deeply, give generously and have a tremendous need for belonging and love. But they need to find the other side of themselves: to receive, follow and express their authentic feelings. Life will be much more fulfilling that way.