Why Is a Breakup a Good Reason to Start Therapy?

By Dr. Carolina Castaños

Many times, when we feel less confident, anxious, irritable, or depressed, we try to “fix” it on our own. We ignore our feelings hoping that they will get better with time, but unfortunately, they do not. Although we may be able to bury them for a while, eventually those feelings do resurface and come back stronger. It’s important to notice how these feelings are affecting us, how they may affect the way we relate to others, and how we see and interpret the world.  Many times, it takes us hitting rock bottom to realize that there are things that we may not see in ourselves, but that we need help resolving.

A breakup stirs everything inside of us; we question ourselves, the relationship, our past decisions and many times, we struggle getting back up. When we go through a breakup, many unhealed wounds resurface without us realizing. What we do know is that it hurts and many times we even lose our will to keep on going.  During a break-up, we are in touch with our feelings more than ever. Which is an opportunity to heal, a chance to slow down and notice what we have been ignoring for so long.  It is an opportunity to heal past wounds, to know ourselves better, and to change the way we tend to relate with others.

When we go through a break up many of us may seek advice from close friends and family, and although that could help, it can also make things worse especially if you are getting advice from people who tend to advise based on their own experiences or are biased.

That’s when therapy comes into play. A good therapist can offer the unbiased wisdom you’ll need to reflect, grow, and heal from the experience. A study published in Social Psychological & Personality Science found that discussing a breakup can be helpful in making it easier to move on.

Therapy, unfortunately, has a stigma around it causing many people are too embarrassed to seek the professional help they need because they believe the end of a relationship isn’t enough to see a therapist, but a break-up can be traumatic. A breakup is a devastating loss, and an outsider who understands the psychology behind breakups but also has an objective perspective on you and your life can make a significant difference in your ability to overcome it and move on.

Dr. Castaños is the founder of MovingOn, an interactive online program designed for people who are struggling to get past the end of a relationship. Dr. Castaños is a bilingual, award-winning Marriage and Family Therapist with 18 years of experience and a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is world-renowned for helping couples, families, and individuals heal from past wounds, and guide them to establish safe, deeply connected relationships. Dr. Castaños also helps couples that are stuck in negative cycles with issues such as difficulties communicating, loss of passion, disconnection, and infidelity. Individuals with issues such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, anger and PTSD also seek Dr. Castaños for her guidance. Dr. Castaños also works with families who are in business together, helping address conflicts that can interfere with their operations and value.