3 Tips for Staying on The Same Financial Page With Your Spouse

By Dan Carter

Plenty of things can kill the romance in a relationship.But traditionally, money and all the complications that come with it sit near the top of the list.

IΓÇÖve worked with hundreds of married clients and have seen a lot of spending habits over the years, both good and bad. ThereΓÇÖs no doubt that when the numbers in the bank account start dropping, the tempers can start flaring.
I recall that when my wife and I were planning their wedding, the minister declined to perform the ceremony unless we met with him three times beforehand.

Guess what he talked about ΓÇô money. He said money can cause a lot of problems in a marriage. When the wolves are at the door, couples stress, argue, and often break up.

In fact, 20 percent of couples say that financial decisions cause tension in their relationships every day, and 31 percent say money issues lead to stress weekly, according to a survey by the American Institute of CPAs and the Ad Council.

The key is for couples to get on the same page about money. Tensions canΓÇÖt help but grow if one spouse is extraordinarily frugal while the other is a spendthrift. I suggest:

• Sit down and talk about what is important. If a husbandΓÇÖs financial goals and a wifeΓÇÖs financial goals are at odds, trouble is inevitable. He might want to stash more away for retirement. Her chief concern might be saving enough to help the kids through college. The important thing is that each understands the otherΓÇÖs priorities and concerns, and then they can work from there, Carter says.
  ΓÇó Understand that there must be a balance. Some couples spend recklessly, racking up massive credit-card debt, while others go to the opposite extreme, fearful of parting with money for anything other than basic necessities. Be disciplined, but treat yourselves once in a while. An occasional splurge isnΓÇÖt a bad thing. Couples can benefit from a dinner at a nice restaurant or a weekend trip to the beach. The problem is when splurging becomes the norm. But life shouldnΓÇÖt just be one dreary chore after another. You do need to live a little.
  ΓÇó Ignore the Joneses. Let your neighbors, relatives and co-workers do what they do, buying unnecessarily expensive cars, living in houses they canΓÇÖt afford and traveling to exotic destinations that are really outside their budgets. Enjoy life, but live within your means.

There are plenty of sayings about money, like ΓÇ£money canΓÇÖt buy you loveΓÇ¥ and ΓÇ£the love of money is the root of all evilΓÇ¥. Those sayings may contain a little truth, but IΓÇÖd say money also can be a useful tool, a very positive thing. If you use it wisely, it can enhance your life and your loved onesΓÇÖ lives, too.

Dan Carter, an Investment Advisor Representative for Safeguard Investment Advisory Group (www.safeguardinvestment.com), has 18 years experience in the insurance and estate planning industry. Carter also is the radio host for a financial radio program, ΓÇ£The Big Picture Radio Show,ΓÇ¥ on KVTA 1590, Ventura CountyΓÇÖs Gold Coast ΓÇ£News TalkΓÇ¥ station. Carter holds California Life-Only and Accident and Health licenses (#0C32681), and holds a Series 65 license, and is registered through the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA).