Finding Wholeness in A Fractured World

Happiness can seem like an endless journey fraught with many, often contradicting theories. ThereΓÇÖs what you should and shouldnΓÇÖt do; training states of mind; economic considerations; health; family; meaning; philosophy; spirituality ΓÇô the list goes on.

But what actually works?

ΓÇ£As a newborn, they found me on a frigid winterΓÇÖs day inside a brown paper bag left on a toilet seat in a bar-and-grill washroom in upstate New York,ΓÇ¥ says A. K. Driggs. ΓÇ£It would prove to be an inauspicious start for a happy life.ΓÇ¥

Can someone with such a disadvantaged beginning life find happiness? We donΓÇÖt have figures on abandoned babies in the United States, let alone a protocol based in the social sciences for how to help raise these infants as they mature. Fortunately, Driggs was adopted by a loving couple, but other challenges would come her way.

For Driggs, her estimated January birthday initiated an extended series of life obstacles ΓÇô romance, sexual identity, insecurity, fear of abandonment, cancer, being bullied and other existential crises, career uncertainty ΓÇô on the path to happiness.

ΓÇ£But I found it and, honestly, IΓÇÖm sure IΓÇÖm happier for having gone through the challenges beforehand,ΓÇ¥ says Driggs, author of ΓÇ£Abandoned in Search of Rainbows,ΓÇ¥ (abandonedinsearchofrainbows.com), which details her journey to wholeness. She offers advice for those who seek fulfillment in life.

ΓÇó Self-acceptance is the gateway. We tend to worry about whatΓÇÖs wrong with us, which makes a certain amount of sense because whatΓÇÖs right doesnΓÇÖt require attention. Of course, the problem with this is that we create an inner environment dominated by anxiety. And, ironically, we worry about all the things we tell ourselves that we first have to do to be happy. As a result, we often have that busybody voice perpetually telling us something is wrong.

ΓÇ£Accept that there are things that need to be done ΓÇô you want to be healthier, find a better job or a long-term romantic partner ΓÇô but these things donΓÇÖt have to be accomplished in order to be happy,ΓÇ¥ Driggs says. ΓÇ£Anxiety is terribly inefficient. ThereΓÇÖs no point in worrying about such issues unless youΓÇÖre actively trying to yield a solution. Accept that youΓÇÖre in the process of growth, and itΓÇÖs not so bad.ΓÇ¥

ΓÇó Make peace with your sexuality, disability, religion, race, adoption and more. Thankfully, in 2015, society has come a long way in its relationship to those who are not the majority. Still, itΓÇÖs not hard to feel different, and there are individuals and groups that are explicitly unwelcoming.

ΓÇ£ItΓÇÖs sad that many of us are still in a position of needing to advocate for those from minority groups, but thereΓÇÖs an upside to it,ΓÇ¥ Driggs says. ΓÇ£If youΓÇÖre different, you are unique and you can embrace this identity. As an adoptee, for example, my parents instilled in me that I was special because I was chosen. A similar perspective can be taken by anyone who feels different for a number of reasons. Embrace who you are!ΓÇ¥

ΓÇó DonΓÇÖt let go of what makes you happy! No matter how youΓÇÖve come across happiness ΓÇô whether seemingly by accident or after a long, earnest effort ΓÇô appreciate it by doing it. While that may seem like simple common sense, people lose sight of what makes them happy all the time.

ΓÇ£I found happiness in my spouse; the family that IΓÇÖve chosen, my friends; and singing as a recoding artist,ΓÇ¥ she says. Whether it be dancing for fun, sewing, gardening or simply singing to all living creatures, donΓÇÖt give up what makes you happy.ΓÇ¥

A.K. Driggs (www.abandonedinsearchofrainbows.com) thrown aside as an infant, was adopted by a loving couple. From abandonment and betrayal to unconditional love and trust, Driggs chronicles her journey in ΓÇ£Abandoned in Search of Rainbows.ΓÇ¥ Her provocative candor lets readers experience the whole spectrum of emotions as Driggs searches for a meaningful life. By finally finding her place in the worldΓÇöpersonally and professionally, romantically and sexually, musically and spirituallyΓÇöDriggs illuminates a path for each of us to get there, too.