Widowed older adults can reduce the loneliness that results from the death of a spouse by volunteering 100 hours per year, which is about two hours per week, according to a study done in April 2018 done at Georgia State University. The study examined whether becoming a volunteer at the time of widowhood is associated… Continue reading Volunteering 2 Hours Per Week Reduces Loneliness in Widowed Older Adults
Category: Widowhood
Grief Delayed Is Not Grief Denied
It all seems pretty straightforward – almost formulaic in a way. You lose someone you love. It feels terrible. You cope with the shock. You mourn and you grieve. You wait patiently…and subsequently impatiently…for the time to arrive when life will resume some semblance of normalcy. The time arrives, the pain finally “disappears”…and you continue… Continue reading Grief Delayed Is Not Grief Denied
Virtual Support Groups Help Grieving Spouses with Depression
As the U.S. population ages, it’s estimated that half of women older than 65 are widows, while one-sixth of men of the same age have lost their spouses. Support groups have proved to be a helpful resource for those dealing with grief, but for older individuals, obstacles such as geographic location and physical immobility can… Continue reading Virtual Support Groups Help Grieving Spouses with Depression
Don’t Speak: The “Censorship” of Grief
“Don’t speak I know what you’re saying So please stop explaining Don’t tell me cause it hurts” “Don’t Speak”, song and lyrics by Eric Stefani and Gwen Stefani When advising the bereaved (be it in-person or in writing), one of my most oft-repeated teachings is encouraging them to talk about their loss – their feelings,… Continue reading Don’t Speak: The “Censorship” of Grief
When Parents Resume Dating – and What Their Children Have to Say
When our children were young, it seems like everything that we parents did was “right” – at least in their eyes. We were the omnipotent heroes, the sageS, the wisest among the wise. We had all of the answers before the questions were even asked. We fixed the impossible and solved the improbable. It was… Continue reading When Parents Resume Dating – and What Their Children Have to Say
How to Date a Widow or Widower (It’s Really Not Scary!)
As both a grief recovery expert and a widow with more than her fair share of post-widowhood dating experience, I have been interviewed, written about and presented countless workshops on dating after loss. Since I firmly believe that should a widowed choose it, dating, companionship and love can again be a part of life, I… Continue reading How to Date a Widow or Widower (It’s Really Not Scary!)
Couples’ Quality of Life Linked Even After One Spouse Dies
When one spouse passes away, his or her characteristics continue to be linked with the surviving spouse’s well-being, according to new research published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. The findings also indicate that this link between the deceased spouse and surviving spouse is as strong as that between partners… Continue reading Couples’ Quality of Life Linked Even After One Spouse Dies
Researchers Call for Hospitals to Establish Bereavement Programs
Backed by a growing body of research, investigators at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston are calling for all hospitals to establish bereavement programs for families of deceased patients. In a paper in the November 2015 issue of the Journal of Palliative Medicine, the researchers say such programs – which guide and support people through the… Continue reading Researchers Call for Hospitals to Establish Bereavement Programs
In Defense of Living Again After Loss
If the article title sounds a bit baffling…it’s because that it is a bit baffling. Why should anyone feel as though they have to defend living again after loss? I am not sure – but unfortunately, it is happening. Many survivors of loss find themselves defending an eventual continuity of life in the ways that… Continue reading In Defense of Living Again After Loss
Grief Shaming: The Latest Form of Bereavement Judgment
Blame it on the ability to remain anonymous, on people who have very small lives or a combination thereof. In recent years, there has been a sharp increase in varying sorts of public “shaming” – weight shaming (be it “over” or “under”); height shaming, financial shaming, social status shaming, a certain kind of shaming that… Continue reading Grief Shaming: The Latest Form of Bereavement Judgment
Recognizing and Speaking the “Language” of Grief
After ten years, hundreds of thousands of letters and emails and untold stories of every manner of loss imaginable, it is readily apparent that much of the lack of understanding, miscommunication and potential destruction of relationships after loss boils down to one very simple premise: Everyone speaks his or her own grief “language”. Moreover and… Continue reading Recognizing and Speaking the “Language” of Grief
Broken Heart Syndrome: It Is a “Thing”
We have all seen the stories many times. A couple who were married for decades die within days, hours or even minutes of one another. Siblings who enjoyed a deep bond throughout their lives pass away in shockingly close proximity to one another. A recent story tells of a gentleman who died less than 24… Continue reading Broken Heart Syndrome: It Is a “Thing”
When Husbands Are Caregivers, Divorce Is More Likely
Research done at Iowa State University study analyzed the divorce rate for couples in which either spouse was diagnosed with a serious illness. The study, published in the March 2015 issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, found a 6 percent higher probability of divorce for couples in which wives got sick compared… Continue reading When Husbands Are Caregivers, Divorce Is More Likely
Attack of the Grief Monster
There is a “monster” who quietly lurks among those who have suffered a loss and are bereaved. It is stealthy and sneaky and pounces when we both most and least expect it. As with most “monsters”, this one appears in the quiet and lonely of night. However, this particular monster can strike during the daytime… Continue reading Attack of the Grief Monster
A New Therapy to Help with “Complicated Grief”
Targeted therapy may help millions of older women afflicted with a kind of grief that could lead to suicide. “Complicated grief,” as it’s known, affects an estimated 4 million women in the U.S. Beginning after the loss of a spouse or a close relationship, the condition can lead to an increased risk of suicide. Symptoms… Continue reading A New Therapy to Help with “Complicated Grief”
Age Alters Immune Response to Grief
Young people have a more robust immune response to the loss of a loved one, according to new research from the University of Birmingham in the UK, providing insight into how different generations cope with loss. The study, published in September 2014 the journal Immunity and Ageing, shows how the balance of our stress hormones… Continue reading Age Alters Immune Response to Grief
Mourning the Death Of A Spouse
Losing a spouse is one of life’s most heartbreaking events. You may react in a number of different ways: sorrow, fear, even anger (that your husband didn’t look after his health, for example). You can also feel guilty that you have survived, while he hasn’t. You may even feel a certain sense of relief, especially if you have been an in–home caregiver or your spouse has been in a nursing home.
Bereavement Ups Heart Attack & Stroke Risk
We really can die of a broken heart – or at least suffer serious adverse health events. The risk of having a heart attack or stroke increases significantly during the 30 days after a partner's death, according to a study done at St. Georges College in London and published in the Journal of the American Medical Association on February 24th 2014.