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Retirement

Why I'm Taking Early Retirement

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  By Judy Kirkwood For me, the sixties are more fabulous than the fifties. For one thing, beginning at age 59 1/2, as a sneak preview, you can access your IRA savings – if you have any -- with no penalty other than the regular tax (do it before and you’re hit with an additional 10 percent penalty). At age 62 you can apply to receive early Social Security benefits. At 65, we have Medicare and can perhaps drop our expensive healthcare insurance if we’ve been paying privately – depending on who is elected and what happens in Congress.

The Secret to Getting Your Man to Become More Loving

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  George and Henry are cousins, but their behavior in love and at work couldn’t be more different. Here’s how they are described by Paul, a person who knows them both well. “George is a stand-up guy,” says Paul. “He gets along well with others and he always looks for the peaceful solution to conflict. He is loyal to his mate and shares in the housework and childrearing. He is a good provider and loves to give to his family and friends.”

Grandparents Day: A Reminder to Live a Healthy Lifestyle

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  As Grandparents Day 2012 approaches, I am renewing my annual vow to keep living the healthiest possible lifestyle so that I can, with some luck in the bargain, stick around to see my precious grandsons reach milestone after milestone. This all started the year the elder of the two was 15 months old. His eyes welled up with tears when I kissed him good-bye at the airport after a visit. I hugged him fiercely and then I said, as brightly as I could muster, "Bye bye!"

Mental & Emotional Health

Emotional Recovery After Public Trauma

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  By Judy Kirkwood Horrific events like the shootings in a Colorado movie theater and a Sikh temple in Wisconsin affect not only those directly or peripherally involved, but also many people who only hear about them on the news. “Such events leave most of us feeling vulnerable, helpless, sad and anxious,” says Linda Ligenza, a consultant to the National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare. These killings, unlike those in war, happened in ordinary and familiar settings. This could have been me, we think.

Mental & Emotional Health

A Lesson from Mary Kennedy's Death

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  By Judy Kirkwood   Mary Richardson Kennedy’s death could not have been unanticipated. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 90 percent of people who die from suicide have the risk factors of depression and other mental disorders, including substance abuse disorders. Any knowledgeable health provider versed in dual diagnosis could have told the Kennedy and Richardson families that it was not a good idea for Mary to be living alone and to have total responsibility for her finances and health.

Aging Well

Are You Still Mad About "Mad Men?"

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  How satisfying is “Mad Men” eight episodes into Season 5 after a 17-month absence? There are rumblings and petulance – threats of not watching it if it doesn’t get more intense and brooding. In other words, we liked the old tightly wound Don, juggling wife, girlfriends and his secret history; not this new lovesick non-Don. Certainly there have been some high points.

Relationships & Love

John Edwards Is Guilty--Of VIolating Human Decency

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  To me the most compelling news to surface in John Edwards’ trial for alleged violation of campaign finance laws is the scene described last week of Elizabeth Edwards ripping off her blouse and bra and confronting her husband with evidence of her scarred life (physical and emotional - she had a double mastectomy and was battling a recurrence of her cancer). “You don’t see me anymore,” she cried, as ex-aide Christina Reynolds recounted in the federal courthouse in Greensboro, North Carolina.

Wills & Estates

The Best Estate-Planning Tips

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  If you don’t have a will, you are not alone. Half of Americans don’t have a will, a living will, or financial and medical powers of attorney. Yet we know a will and other estate documents would ease our family’s burdens if something happened to us.

Rare Disease Day: 1 in 10 People Are Afflicted

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  Ten years ago at the age of 44, Liz Gorka was stunned when she was diagnosed with a disease she had never heard of before. Systemic sclerodema is a progressive disorder that causes the hardening of connective tissues and can seriously damage vital organs. As the Mayo Clinic site puts it, "For unknown reasons, the immune system turns against the body . . . Scleroderma has no known cure."

Mental & Emotional Health

When You Love An Addict

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  How many times have I heard variations of this in the last two  weeks? “I can’t understand why Whitney Houston would overdose/abuse drugs/get so drunk, when she had been through treatment and achieved sobriety, a child who needed her, a great career, people who loved her, and such a strong faith.” In fact, I was sitting next to a Miami news anchor at dinner the other night who said the same thing.

What's On Your Bucket List?

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The term "bucket list" was around before 2007, but it was popularized that year by the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman film about two terminally ill guys who travel around the world with a list of to-dos before they "kick the bucket." They find, in their travels, that some of the more trivial items take on deeper significance. An especially touching scene happens when Nicholson as Edward reconciles with his estranged daughter and meets his little granddaughter for the first time.

Divorce

The Post-Divorce Valentine's Day

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Who dreads Valentine’s Day more than single women with no romantic interest in their lives? Recently divorced women. But there is hope for a new kind of Valentine’s celebration. On a day when “I love you, darling” is shoved down our throats, maybe we should be expressing our gratitude to those who stuck by us through the valley of depression, or making the day special for our children or grandchildren.

Living Single

Are You Lonely?

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If you're a Boomer who's living alone, you're part of a growing phenomenon. Close to 30% of the older population is in what the Census Bureau calls "single person households," and the number skyrockets to almost 50% for women over the age of 75. Yet while mid-lifers who are yearning for some "me time" may think that flying solo sounds great, the truth is that coming home to an empty house or apartment night after night can bring on depression as well as a host of related physical ailments.

Have You Become Your Mother?

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  When my mother had been widowed about three years, we took her on a tour of a community for active seniors near where we lived in New York. She was visiting from her home in Michigan and our plan was to get her to move. From our point of view, she was rattling around all alone in a three-bedroom house and she rarely got a chance to see the grandchildren. We thought she'd jump at the opportunity to sell her property and not only settle into a place where she could socialize with people her own age but also be a short drive from her family.

Of Mincemeat Pies and Memories

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I knew I had reached a milestone in my life this year when I was able to walk past jars of mincemeat in the supermarket during the weeks before Thanksgiving without having tears well up in my eyes. Some of my fondest memories of the years when my children were growing up are of the hours we spent together in the kitchen baking treats for birthdays and holidays. Chief among those bake fests was the annual creation of the lattice crust mincemeat pie for Thanksgiving.

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