The Power of Shame By blogI have always wondered at the power of shame to shape our worlds. So much so, that when I began my six month counseling internship at a rehab hospital, I knew within weeks that my M.A. thesis would be about shame. We have so much shame in our culture around aging and disability! In my thesis I explain the Chinese word for I’m sorry: 对不起, which means literally “I cannot look up at you.” That’s exactly what shame feels like.
How to Age Beautifully and Gracefully By blogAging beautifully and gracefully is all about accepting the aging process and embracing it. As we feel great on the inside, we look fabulous on the outside too. Wrinkles and lines add character, softened skin glows as we move with ease through life. Enjoy my advice on making choices that will help you stay healthy and happy so you can, in turn, age beautifully and gracefully. Live in a Place of Gratitude
Five Sex-Positive Results of Celibacy By blogLet’s define celibacy versus abstinence. The terms are often used interchangeably, yet for the purposes of this article, they are two different concepts. According to the website Wait Until Marriage, abstinence is defined as the absence of sexual intercourse, whereas celibacy is the avoidance of all forms of sexual activity. People who abstain from sex often date, kiss and have oral sex. Abstinence is a method of managing potential STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Many people of faith also want to wait until marriage to engage in full sexual relations. Celibacy is a way of being that avoids all sexual situations. This can often demand the avoidance of dating altogether, as it did for me.
The Moment By blogOur seven-year-old Shih-Tzu, Princess, always loved car trips. Just the mention of the word car would get her jumping with excitement. That changed a while back when we were driving her to the veterinarian for knee surgery. Princess sat in her normal spot in the back seat, but her uncontrollable shaking proved to us she sensed she was not heading to a fun day in the park. In a moment, going up a flight of stairs, her knee gave out and the peaceful life she knew suddenly became uncertain.
Tools To Take Charge Of Your Cancer Survivorship By blogMost major cancer centers today offer a survivor care plan to organize your diagnosis, treatment and follow-up plan. It will soon be a standard of care to provide treatment summaries and survivorship care plans to all cancer patients. The primary components of a plan include: Diagnostic tests performed and results; including tumor site, stage, grade and other biomarker information.
Grounding (Earthing): The Easiest Way to Fight Stress By blogWe all know that the world is becoming more stressful every day. We worry about the economy, another war in a place we’ve never heard of, our parents getting old and dying, the well-being of our children, our own health. Sometimes it seems like our lives are one endless series of stresses. The bad news is that stress is on the rise and it’s causing major problems for many of us. The good news is that there are simple ways to combat stress and get back in control of our lives.
Life After 50: How to Bloom Abundantly By blogYesterday, I spent several hours working in my butterfly garden. The long, unusually cold winter had taken its toll on most everything that was still alive from last year, and I had a lot of pruning and re-planting to do. As I was enjoying the morning, I began thinking how my garden was much like the life of a midlife woman, and represented many of the things I incorporate into my coaching and speaking practices.
Doc, Doc, Dockin’ on Heaven’s Door By blogI have to confess I open up my junk mail if that’s all there is in the mailbox. I don’t know if that is a true sign I am turning into an old lady, or just curious. Well, it serves me right. There in a plain brown wrapper in an oversized envelope was a multitudinous stack of official looking papers, the crown piece being a “real certificate” with all that blue and white scrolly-doily looking edging.
Caregiving Without An Attitude By blogA few months ago, I attended a memory loss conference and encountered what I refer to as an “Alpha Alzheimer’s Caregiver.” I’ll call her Deborah.
One Lump or Two By blogI just recently turned 63. Not much different than turning 53, give or take a whole lot of wrinkles that have turned from surface lines to trenches. But mentally I don’t feel all that much older.
Happily Ever After: 7 Secrets from The New Science of Love for Women and Men Over 50 By blogMy wife, Carlin, and I have been married now for nearly 35 years and our love life seems to be getting better and better through the years. But it hasn’t always been so. This is the third marriage for each of us and there were times in our marriage that we wondered why we were so miserable and whether we should stay together or call it quits. We became angry, depressed, and overstressed. We had sexual problems and were confused about how to improve things.
Are You Financially Faithful? By blogNew research shows many partners lie about what they paid for an expensive new item, hide debt from their partners, and even maintain hidden bank accounts. This is no way to run a relationship! Don’t be caught unaware as I was in my first marriage. Take an active role in your shared finances and always look at shared tax returns. When you first meet a new potential partner, check the person out carefully. Here’s what I did when I first met my second husband:
Get Ready By blogI was obviously never a Boy Scout, but isn’t their motto “be prepared?” Recently, a client I’ve known for 12 years passed away suddenly. He was only in his early 50s. Here I am out in public, preaching about death, dying and being prepared. The loss of this special man has kept me up at night wondering about what I’ve been doing here at home- meaning my home office. Am I preaching enough right here at home? NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE, BE PREPARED. Part of dying well is doing what you need to do when you are living.
Hospitality By blogI recently read an article on southern hospitality; it said that everyone visiting the region, whether a stranger or returning guest, will be treated in a warm, friendly, generous way. This got me thinking about what hospitality means to me.
Jumping For Joy In The E.R. By blogOK, so the ER is not the place where you can usually find doctors jumping for joy, but certainly stranger things have happened there, so why not? I had just started my afternoon shift in the area we call the “trauma pod” and as I left my first patient’s room, I was spinning around giving a fist pump in the air and exclaiming, “YES! Now that it the way it is supposed to be!!” Needless to say, this had the attention of all my nursing staff and the doc I was relieving.
Why Do More Women Develop Alzheimer's Disease? By blogRecently, I turned on the radio in my car and heard the last few minutes of an MPR [Minnesota Public Radio] All Things Considered segment about Alzheimer’s disease. A few days later I googled the subject matter and found this MPR link to the audio and an accompanying online story. Take a few minutes to read or listen to the broadcast.
10 Ways Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or Tapping) Work to Heal Trauma and Other Stresses of Life By blogWhen we think of people healing from trauma, we often picture people dealing with the effects of natural disasters, soldiers returning from battle, or people recovering from childhood violence or sexual abuse. But stress and trauma impact many more of us than most people recognize and Emotional Freedom Techniques, also known as EFT or Tapping, can be of tremendous help.
Going Bananas By blogThere it was on Facebook, a video I HAD to watch, or so they said. “You have to watch this video. You have been peeling bananas wrong your whole life!”